To prove my innocence in alleged crimes of extortion, I shall kidnap a bus-load of tourists.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sad Ending Siege
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Found while browsing the supermarket aisles...
think this is what happens to politically incorrect snacks in a PC
world.
What would Enid Blyton say?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Hear Ye Hear Ye
Actually it IS good. As an argument against eating canned meat.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Dental work is just highly skilled plumbing
Monday, May 17, 2010
Am I a Neighsayer of Cars? Hur hur hur I did not just make that pun...
As I drove to work today, I passed by what looked suspiciously like horse droppings on the road. This is unusual as I live in Kuala Lumpur.
There are no horses in Kuala Lumpur (save perhaps in the zoo, in horse riding centres and at the sultan's palace).
Anyway, I then started fantasizing, as I was stuck in my little metal box, about a time when equine travel was again possible. I mean, the more I thought about it, the more I could frame:
Arguments for Horsey Travel
1) Horses are environmentally-friendlier! They do not give out noxious carbon fumes, only noxious methane gases. Here I shall attempt to get sciencey, so pardon me or skip to next point if bored.
Of course someone else did the math and I just plagiarised it... but credit given where credit's due:http://ezinearticles.com/?Cows-Vs-Cars---The-Methane-Versus-Carbon-Dioxide-Battle&id=2877531
From another page, I found out that a dairy cow produces twice as much as waste as a pony and about 1/6th more than a medium horse. Taking that into account, here's how a horse squares up against your car.
A car on average produces 4100 pounds of CO2 a year
A cow on average produces 220 pounds of methane a year so a horse is at around 183 pounds
2) Fuel economy. Again, more information appropriated from this site:http://fatknowledge.blogspot.com/2005/05/horses-vs-cars.html
Math math math and what you get is that a pony can travel approximately 1.25 miles/pound of feedwhereas a car working on switchgrass fuel (sorry that dude's post was based on one where he discussed this new biofuel made from a grass so that's what he bases his calculations on) will travel 0.83 miles/pound of switchgrass.
3) It's a pony! WHICH LITTLE GIRL DOESN'T WANT A PONY!?!?
4) Horses can be your friends. Or at least that's what i learned from My Little Pony.
5) Horses produce their own substitutes. Never have to pay for a car again... EVER! You will have to have about a year of just feeding and no travel benefits though, i suppose.
6) Used horseshoes can become a fun game of horseshoe toss
11) Horses can snort at your enemies
12) They are just cool and you can give them names like Binky
Horse wins!
However, it would be unfair if i didn't point out that
- A horse cannot carry a family of four
- Plus luggage
- A horse can't travel for much more than 40 km a day (that's just about enough to make it to Klang from KL, for those of us numerically disadvantaged folks)
- Horses need to eat a lot. All day.
- Horses poo. And you need to clean that up.
- Horses are moody. Will your boss let you skip work cos your house was throwing a tantrum?
- Horses smell horsey. As will your clothes. And your hair. And y0u.
Ah well, perhaps someday my dream will see fruition. We will hark back to the days when men were white knights on big horses and women were swooning over their machodom. But we will be doing it while sipping espressos and talking on our iPhones of course.
Because this has already been full of horses, let me take the opportunity to throw in a fat pony.
This be my fat pony sent to me by Aaron. (he being an awesome boyfriend *mush mush*)
And this be the comic.
*the picture refuses to scale down for me so if you would be so kind to click 'open in a new page' then you will see it in all its full glory*
It was an appropriate comic, thinks I.
More wonderful fat pony goodness (as well as other great historical stuff) can be found at Kate Beaton's comic site.
You must love her, because I do.
Okay, less ponies and more work! *neigh*!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sukan adalah Muhibah
Well, mum and I thought since the Thomas Cup is in town let's go watch it. Fate would have it that I've got stuff on during the Finals and the Quarters (kiasu watch the best mah, right?) and that may have been a fortunate turn of fate because our Malaysian team looks shaky on their feet at the moment, having lost just the day before our match to Japan. (Japan? Not quite the powerhouse, you would think).
I love that the guy sitting behind me shouted 'Ah macam tu la! Mereka pendek aje! Bagi tinggi tinggi mereka tak boleh dapat lah!" hehehe... the crowd was SO agitated by how we were losing easy points!
Then at one stage, a dude sitting quite a few rows behind started shouting "Malaysia! Main la! Bodoh! OOoOoiiII!!!Kick their f*cking ass!!" I glanced behind and saw a superly red-faced Chinese man at the edge of his seat and I think if i had looked closer, I could probably have spotted some veins popping out at his temple. Lo and behold though, after that scolding they actually scored! He kept quiet for the next service and our team lost points again.
Friday, March 26, 2010
A Lesson in Minding your Media
My initial reaction reading the article was 'OMG. The bastards. Are you sure?' And a bit of googling helped me find out that I was not the only one outraged. Upon closer scrutiny though, the top heading of 'Asia’s Biggest Loser loses rest of body weight, disappears into thin air' did seem a little bit suspect. Haha.. a fact I proceeded to share with Weng.
After which our gaze diverted to the banner. (this is the point when you do the same for that 'Oh.. i get it' moment)
Post in point is this one: Sabah & Sarawak to be Relocated
“It’s a big project, costing well over RM850 trillion,” said Najib. “The project would take 10 years to complete, since we’d need to move all the soil, water sources, flora, fauna, man-made structures and of course, the people. But it’ll be worth it, since we’ll truly be 1Malaysia.”“Of course, we might ‘improve’ some things when we rebuild the states. We’re thinking, maybe Mount Kinabalu could be higher than Everest. I mean, why not? It’s not every day that you get to change what nature has given us.
“And if we take the soil from inside Gua Niah and use it to add on Mount Kinabalu’s height, we’d get both a bigger cave and taller mountain, effectively rewriting two Guinness World Records. Now that’s what I call value for money!”
On protests by the Kelantan state government, citing the ‘loss of a coastline’ and ‘off-shore petroleum’, Najib said that this is of national interest, and the opposition-held state administration should not be so selfish.
“These people simply refuse to understand the importance of 1Malaysia. They keep on looking a the small things like the death of their fishing industry or the loss of billions of ringgit of income.
“Serves the Kelantanese people right for voting in such small-minded leaders.”
Okay, so the post, we agree, is superbly well-written so you would suspect it of being genuine. What more because our ministers HAVE said some questionable things before, i.e: "We are not saying that they cannot use Facebook or Twitter but when using such facilities they must upkeep the values taught by Islam, Buddhism or Christianity to maintain our culture," but you haven't seen anything til you've read the comments.
Better use these trillions of RM to improve the institutions of learning, give our scholarships to the poor based on merit, build more technical colleges to develop skills of students who are not so academically-inclined ie for skills upgrading so these people can find a job, build better hospitals and look at ways to improve the public healthcare systems, improve the roads and upgrade the computer systems of public offices. Basically, use the money to stimulate the econony and build it, enhance it, grow it for the properity of the Rakyat.
This moronic PM comes up with idea to siphon off the Rakyat’s money. He should do a feasibility study first. To me, this is gonna be a useless project.
Bodoh punya orang.
Bertaubatlah Najib. Insyallah.
Idris.
Okaylah Idris. You posted as soon as the post came up. Forgive your stupidity. Noone told you yet.
Our PM suddenly became God when he talks like this.If God said it I beleive because God can do all the IMPOSSIBLE which humanly think is impossible,for example an earthquake or tsunami can change landscape.So I do not know what God or gods our PM pray to that made him think and want to act like God.If this idea comes then those gods can be very dangerous and we have seen that with the ** incident.We better pray hard for the mind of our PM to stay in good shape.
One day later - still got excuse?
this is simply not feasible because the maintenance just to keep the two new land masses from disappearing due to poor shoddy workmanship would cost 400 quadrillion a year.
This is a classy comment though.
wtf is this ! 850 trillion my S !
Dont talk about the money, think of the citizens condition.. Dont you ever think they will get nightmare when sleeping, been torturing for 10yrs, it is like the earth is not safer anymore !
Can you ensure that no one will die !
Can you ensure that no building will collapse!
Can you ensure that ALL THE CITIZENS want this to be happened ?
Say this is democratic country, do the people have the right to say YES / NO for this project!
Why dont you run a survey to get permission first !MONEY !!
Our hard earn money !! 10yrs squeezing people money into your ‘pocket’
We are your citizens not your toys !PM ! cant your just think for us, switching your position as a citizen, dont always be on top! you miss out alot of things. Whatever you think is not the ppl need ! Cmon you have to be more mature !
WHat you spoken, doesnt ever convince the people! WE ARE LIKE LIVING IN HELL SOON ! ” Peepo cross-finger ! we will be tortured soon, enjoy the best for now !
But seriously, after a month?
Anyway, my point being that the government is sometimes really stupid but erm.. when you see how people lap up anything typed in a posh enough font - then you understand why we are where we are, huh?
I for one choose to revel in the few who question and then write hilarious articles. Thanks nose4news! Will be checking back often :)
And to everyone else, check your facts before you believe everything!
(and switch off your lights 8.30pm - 9.30 pm on Saturday the 27th March. Pretty sure TNB employees won't be losing their bonuses)