which brings me to my next Thing they don't teach you in Textbooks...
The Male Dress Dilemma
No no... nothing to do with the way men dress (altho that is worthy of a lesson too. very important point, fellas) but rather... when the girlfriends drag that poor, unsuspecting fool i mean, dear of a boyfriend along to shop for dresses - a boring enough enterprise on its own - he is faced by the lose-lose dilemma.
I have not fully thought this through, so this is my train of thoughts as i ponder this situation.
I can't decide if it's worse to have a really fine girlfriend (specifically in this situation) or one who is well, weight conscious. haha.. you see, girls are very indecisive creatures. Yes, you males reading this, you've seen us.
Sorry girls, you know it's true too.
But anyway, guys.. have you ever been shot that question? Wait for it..... *drum roll*
Haha.. well, maybe it's not phrased exactly like that. You may have heard the variations.
Guys, when hit with this question. i think you're quite screwed. haha.. you see.. if she does look gorgeous in the dress.. then say so. BUT
a) She might think you're lying
b) What some (not all!) guys think is gorgeous i.e: tacky, revealing and shows cleavage
is erm... not exactly that gorgeous. [oh, and erm.. this picture also reminds us of the male dilemma.. of choosing women who are really women]
c) Even if you're not lying, she probably wants to believe that you are cos she's not too convinced that she looks that great.
So... haha.. i would say honesty is best, but NOONE likes to hear that they look bad in something. Unless it's coming from a best friend, in which case there is some sort of immunity.
If you MUST utter the truth though, try and do it gently. I have been kind enough to think up such gentle remarks that may save you:
So, let's say you have squirmed out of the Am i Fat? question. Assuming this scenario has then spurred on a low self esteem period (as dress shopping sometimes does, particularly after the festive season) there is one cardinal sin that ANY guy can commit. What is that, you ask? Offering her ice-cream? Oh no.. fattening foods release endorphins and would therefore only make her happy. Buying her a dress? Well, if it fits and she likes it.. you're definitely gonna get some nookie that night. No no... the evil deed?
NEVER ask for the girl's weight. No No.. Forbidden. Confidential. Absolutely Unconducive to making her feel better.Besides guys. There is absolutely NO reason to put yourself in this predicament. Never Ever try to guess her weight either. I've thought about this one. It's a Lose-Lose Situation.
You see, if you guess LESS than her actual weight... she will feel down because she is not actually that weight, and you think she is... Therefore she would be fatter than you thought.
If you guess MORE than her actual weight, you are effectively saying she is FAT. and that she looks FAT. And you thought that she was heavier than she actually is.
See.. Lose saying less. Lose saying more. Unless you get it right, which of course, is hardly every gonna happen, is it?
Fret not girls, I've thought of the Optimists' Guide to Weighty Questions (pun intended)
If said guy guesses less, then that just means you're better at hiding your fats than you thought.
If said guy guesses more, then he just has a very bad eye for weight and you can proudly annoucne that you are thinner than he thought and he is just very stupid for not being able to see what a perfect size 10 you are. *roll eyes here*
So, Guys, my advice, stay away from questions of weight.
Girls, you're beautiful just the way you are. Now burn those magazines and turn off the tv. Oh, but being healthy is important. Remember: Healthy and Skinny are NOT the same thing
p.s: could you tell i went dress shopping? i think the CNY eating got to me.*sniffle* but that didn't stop me buying a dress. Wheee!
I have not fully thought this through, so this is my train of thoughts as i ponder this situation.
I can't decide if it's worse to have a really fine girlfriend (specifically in this situation) or one who is well, weight conscious. haha.. you see, girls are very indecisive creatures. Yes, you males reading this, you've seen us.
"Uuumm... I don't know if i want to have a tiramisu, or a chocolate marble cake. Probably the tiramisu lah. Aiyer, the strawberry cheesecake looks nice too lah. DuNnO!"
"Hhhhmmm... this shoe looks nice on me, but it won't really match my tops. Orange one? Blue one? Orange is nice lah, but what to wear it with? Waaahh... eeh.. that other pair looks good in red woh."
Sorry girls, you know it's true too.
But anyway, guys.. have you ever been shot that question? Wait for it..... *drum roll*
Do I look fat in this?
Haha.. well, maybe it's not phrased exactly like that. You may have heard the variations.
- So, do you think this looks nice on me?
- Ooohh... i look quite curvy* in this, don't i?
- Hhhmm.. do you think this cutting is right for me?
- Do you think this dress is too clingy?
Guys, when hit with this question. i think you're quite screwed. haha.. you see.. if she does look gorgeous in the dress.. then say so. BUT
a) She might think you're lying
b) What some (not all!) guys think is gorgeous i.e: tacky, revealing and shows cleavage
is erm... not exactly that gorgeous. [oh, and erm.. this picture also reminds us of the male dilemma.. of choosing women who are really women]c) Even if you're not lying, she probably wants to believe that you are cos she's not too convinced that she looks that great.
So... haha.. i would say honesty is best, but NOONE likes to hear that they look bad in something. Unless it's coming from a best friend, in which case there is some sort of immunity.
If you MUST utter the truth though, try and do it gently. I have been kind enough to think up such gentle remarks that may save you:
- Why don't you try this other cut instead? (may distract her but in any case, helpful ideas are good because they show concern)
- Oh, I think it looks very good, but the colour doesn't suit you so well. (weight is then not the issue. But make sure you say something about the skin tone and not how the colour makes her look bigger)
- There are some nice shops down there, why don't we take a look there first? (can really be seen as a sacrifice of time for avoiding CHB (Cold Hard Bitch) syndrome
- But dear, that doesn't compliment my shirt. (haha... then i'd be worried about your sexuality)
- Oooo... isn't the deco here nice? This couch i'm sitting on (if you are so lucky) is really comfortable (if you're really lucky, her girlfriend will call at that precise moment and she'll forget she asked you anything at all)
So, let's say you have squirmed out of the Am i Fat? question. Assuming this scenario has then spurred on a low self esteem period (as dress shopping sometimes does, particularly after the festive season) there is one cardinal sin that ANY guy can commit. What is that, you ask? Offering her ice-cream? Oh no.. fattening foods release endorphins and would therefore only make her happy. Buying her a dress? Well, if it fits and she likes it.. you're definitely gonna get some nookie that night. No no... the evil deed?
NEVER ask for the girl's weight. No No.. Forbidden. Confidential. Absolutely Unconducive to making her feel better.Besides guys. There is absolutely NO reason to put yourself in this predicament. Never Ever try to guess her weight either. I've thought about this one. It's a Lose-Lose Situation.
You see, if you guess LESS than her actual weight... she will feel down because she is not actually that weight, and you think she is... Therefore she would be fatter than you thought.
If you guess MORE than her actual weight, you are effectively saying she is FAT. and that she looks FAT. And you thought that she was heavier than she actually is.
See.. Lose saying less. Lose saying more. Unless you get it right, which of course, is hardly every gonna happen, is it?
Fret not girls, I've thought of the Optimists' Guide to Weighty Questions (pun intended)
If said guy guesses less, then that just means you're better at hiding your fats than you thought.
If said guy guesses more, then he just has a very bad eye for weight and you can proudly annoucne that you are thinner than he thought and he is just very stupid for not being able to see what a perfect size 10 you are. *roll eyes here*
So, Guys, my advice, stay away from questions of weight.
Girls, you're beautiful just the way you are. Now burn those magazines and turn off the tv. Oh, but being healthy is important. Remember: Healthy and Skinny are NOT the same thing
p.s: could you tell i went dress shopping? i think the CNY eating got to me.*sniffle* but that didn't stop me buying a dress. Wheee!
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