Moody Musings at 3 am

It’s 3 in the morning and I’ve just come back from celebrating two people’s 21sts.

I wish I was drunk.
But hey, when you’ve had a few drinks and you’re still not feeling happy, there’s gotta be something up. And what’s worse is when you see other people with their “significant others” around them… and you wonder where yours is.

*BiG SiGh*….

it sucks when you start thinking about all these things. especially in my situation. the good thing about noone reading your blog is that you can actually pour these things out into the empty oblivion of cyberspace.
So what's the big deal? We've been called FWBs (Friends With Benefits... what were you thinking?) and when people ask me if we're together... i either say i don't know (who says i don't know?!?!?) or feel the stab of pain from answering No. i fluctuate from days when i am satisfied with the world to days when i wonder what's the point and feel depressed at the finite nature
of this 'relationship'.

Bleah.

You know sometimes you wonder whether this is right?

The sad things you think of when your insecure... Issit a sign that someone doesn't love you when...
#1) He doesn't seem to think it's a big deal when you're apart
#2) He doesn't close his eyes when you kiss!
#3) Sleep is more important than time together
#4) He doesn't want anyone to see you together
#5) He doesn't want to admit to anyone that you're together!
#6) He doesn't make an effort to find out more about things important to you
#7) Sometimes when you say 'I love you' you wonder if the reply is forced

*SiGh* spelling it out makes me even more insecure
but really, sometimes you wonder if it's love when the person you think you're in love with has very few similar interests and sometimes just isn't the person you'd see yourself with. Maybe it's just fooling yourself by prolonging something that isn't there.

I used to tell myself that i knew it wouldn't last but i might as well enjoy the benefits of it while it lasts. But how fair is that to myself? I get so jealous of people who go so well together.
I dunno.... relationships are not my forte. And you'd think i'd have a good head on my shoulders for this.

When Somebody Loves You - by Frank Sinatra is playing on my iTunes.

thanks for the irony.

Well, at least i've got someone to croon me to sleep at 4 in the morning.

I think i should stop chasing boys....

Can someone please give me a man?