the first step is the hardest...

Is it possible to go, in 2 hours, from sad to completely depressed and exasperated?
Yes.
A 2-hour phone conversation in the wee hours of the morning - what should have been i guess liberating; consoling at the least, actually made me feel like the whole of the last year has been just dreadful. Like i had slipped from some golden era into a dark age that i made myself.
Choices... life is a series of choices? Well, i sympathise with those who have made the wrong ones.
I'm really sure that my life is quite a bed a roses. I'm sure i just have to flick to the back pages of this blog to find testament to that. Or can i?
In tryng to find myself through everything else, did i miss what really matters?
Why do something if it only makes you cry?
Why say something if it only hurts?
Why live in something if its only a sham?
Broad questions... but i phrased them that way.
Maybe there's only so much you can blame on time. Or situations. Or moods.
Maybe there's something inherently wrong with me.
I wish the choices we made were always informed.
I wish there was always someone to show you the way.
But sometimes you just put yourself there. And sometimes you just have to get yourself out. Now it's just a question of how you choose to do it.
Thinking of it's a start.
For the people i've ignored. I miss you and i'm sorry.
For myself. I'm sorry i made you chase things and forget others.
For iH, i thought i had a problem with you. Could it be the other way?
For realism and pessimism - thanks, but we can't see each other that much anymore.