Feng Shui Shmeng Shui (i hate that book)

So the house has been abuzz with talk of marriage and weddings, and dates... Dates, dates, dates. If one has not already surmised, I am not getting married, but my eldest brother. I pity the poor boy. And, I have found the manifestation of evil.


I hate this book. I hate it with a passion.
That book is the single greatest cause of misery in my household.
My father has gone somewhat overboard in his tyrannical hold over the wedding feng shui. I pity my brother, truly i do.
It's a centuries old tradition. Of course I don't really believe in it, but I also don't want to do anything that might jeapordise their happiness, right?
Oh, alright dad. Yeah, let's listen to some star-reading (or whatever it is they do) fellas who tell us in the book that it will be an ABSOLUTELY terrible day to get married. Anywhere in the world, for ANY couple - on that day. Oh, and that (probably unmarried) scholar says we should have the tea ceremony between 3pm and 5pm on that day? Alright.
Here's the thing, not everyday is a Sunday. Literally. Well, maybe Saturday in this case. Maybe then all this Chinese almanac stuff isn't practical enough for the modern world. People have to work, hotels have to be booked (and overbooked), some of us have to fly back from Melbourne.
But okay, I get the whole tradition thing. I don't claim to understand it, but i get it. We've been doing it for centuries, let's continue. The problem is when you try to over-trivialise the affair.

This day is fine. The book says you can get married that day.
Next day: I spoke to my friend, he knows these things. He says it's better to do it another day.
Day after: The book says that wedding is good on Saturday, but only come into the house the next Thursday, and have the tea ceremony the following Monday.

Are you lost yet? Yeah, welcome to my house. I hate that book.
Does it help that my father is unnaturally high-strung, especially when you mention the wedding. He starts raising his voice, refuses to listen to anyone else and seems set to be obstinate from the outset. Does it help that noone else can read that farking book? I hate that book.
When did a wedding have to be more complicated than a boy and a girl, wanting to show the world they love each other. Wanting all their family and friends to be around when they do it. And choosing when and where they want to do it.
Gawd, even the guest list is like my parents' excuse to gloat to other people with unmarried children. Or that's what i feel. Just 'cos they got to invite friends and I didn't. *snort* But it's not my parade (technically not theirs either)

In any case, feng shui almanacs... especially that evil Chinese one that I can't even read to try and help my brother out with ... are just that. Evil beyond comprehension. I'm not trying to be an uber-modernist now. I love my traditional family dinners and celebrating Guo Dong and various other ceremonies that have no meaning to me. But come on, let's have some flexible tradition? Honestly, this nonsense is enough to make you feel like an uncivilised, boorish, superstitious bogan.

Did i mention? I hate that book.

If anyone is curious as to how it works out. Strangely enough, my brother finally got an opening at one of the hotels. (they were all fully booked before) and he confirmed that. And my dad relented with a defiant, So you don't want to follow the book, issit? God bless my mother when she said, No, don't want.
p.s: she's going away for the weekend.