This holiday i've heard more about marriage than i have in all my years of life. One family dinner and discussion of 3 impending marriages later, it seems to be eating up my blog.
Well, inspired by James' wonderful story of eating two week-expired cheese, i shall expound to you my thoughts on why Marriage is Cheese.
1) Some people are allergic to cheese. They call it lactose-intolerance. I call it infidelity.
2) Shopping for cheese is difficult. Where are you supposed to look? Supermarkets are generally quite reliable, but sometimes there's more flavour and authenticity in a village market. Such a smorgasbord and yet you never know how to go about approaching it.
3) As with many other things, cheese has a best before date. Get married by 30. Any time after that and you're a spinster bomb waiting to go off.
4) Following from last point, that means that as soon as you acquire cheese, there's this pressure to eat it gnawing away at you. Especially if you're nearing the best before date. But what if you'd like another cheese instead? Acks! No time! Take what you have or risk it for something new?
5) Stay with a cheese long enough without taking proper precautions and it'll spawn mold (whether you planned it or not). Said mold will leech off you for ages and ages until it's old enough to create its own lifeform. Kids have a funny way of doing that.
6) Cheese is as good as the cow that made the milk its from and the stuff they put in while making it. Family is important - as much as you're not marrying them, they become in-laws. Some psychological trauma you can't foresee in a partner until later on.
7) Too much cheese will give you a heart attack.
No comments:
Post a Comment