RandomThots: Family Values

They say Blood is thicker than water. What they failed to say is that blood clots.
My first day of the new year was spent in Ipoh, the land of sar hor fun and good food in general, and home to practically every other member of my family. Which comes to the topic of family.
Lots of things are genetic, health disorders, hair colour, eye colour, skin colour, heck, even the size of your hips and your height *grumble*. But the whole debate about nature and nurture, well, i guess it's hard to draw that line when nature and nurture are all a big bundle in a family. But here's the thing. My family on my dad's side has this tendency to argue A LOT. When i was small and lived in Sabah, we only came back once a year. I used to think that it was some sort of tradition that the kids and wives got sent up to sit out the family feud that was inevitable after the large family dinner. Family issues, alcohol and hot tempers = Loud shouting.
So that was/is my family. Hot headed and temperamental.
My mum's side is kinda different, they get along really well and i've never seen them raise their voice. Very level-headed and tak ape attitude, which suits me just fine.
So now you put the 2 together. And you get, well, the 3 of us.
I like to think we were brought up in a predominantly happy household ( i believe that most, if not all behaviour can be pinpointed to a happy/unhappy childhood) Strangely enough, my brothers cannot stand each other and i believe that i'm the only one in the family who can talk to everyone else with ease. That's the trouble with competitive boys: one is a provoker and another has an inferiority complex (what i like to term second child syndrome. think about it - faramir in lord of the rings? he had 2nd child syndrome!)
What i was trying to get at really, is whether it's really about upbringing, or something you can't avoid? I can really foresee that I will have to work at keeping our family together, in the hey-let's-meet-up-for-a-meal kind of way. I really would hate to have the cousins (well, that would be nephews and nieces on my part) estranged from each other cos of stupid tussles between the fathers.
Okay, the fact I am thinking of my brothers kids ALREADY is scaring me. Must be 'cos i'm gonna be an aunt soon! My cousin's wife is expecting! Wheee! Exciting!
The moral of the story is, kids, you're stuck with your family for life. And life isn't that long. It's not worth picking a fight, so, make it pleasant! They're just people after all.
Do you notice that you're a different person when you're with family and when you're with friends? I've tried acting pretty much the same to both, and it can SORT of be achieved. i've always thought this to be true:
Friends are the family you choose. (Jeannie)
So if you would treat your friends as family, then why not treat your family as friends?