Wednesday, January 18, 2006

If you write something interesting, it is inevitable that noone will read it....

Another instalment of Things they don't teach you in Textbooks
Forget Newton's Law, Ohm's Law and all those other scientific laws which you forget once you're out of high school (unless you're an engineer.. haha.. or a scientist.. or a physicist.. oh well, i guess only arts students forget). Today's lesson kids is...

Murphy's Law

In a nutshell, Murphy's Law is the Eeyore of worldly insight. Think pessimist then multiply by 200. Murphy was the perfect advocate of those days when everything just WON'T go your way, not that i've had one of those in a while (have i?) but maybe you'll find these familiar. Murphy's Laws: (courtesy of Wikipedia)
    1. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. (Law of Selective Gravitation)
    2. Buses take ages to arrive, but when they do they always arrive in sets of three. (for kee win)
    3. When graphing, the graph paper is always one square too small for the perfect scale. (for eng friends)
    4. When caught in a traffic jam, the lane that you are in will always be the slowest to move. (for KL drivers)
    5. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
    6. Everything takes longer than you think. Or, everything takes twice as long as it should; excepting that which appears easy, taking three times as long.
    7. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.
    8. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
    9. If something simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
    10. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
    11. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
    12. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    13. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
    14. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
    15. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
    16. Every solution breeds new problems.
    17. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    18. When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that the two cars are going in opposite directions, and they will always meet at the bridge.
    19. Junk will grow to fill the available cupboard space. (for kee win and his clothes)
    20. All small objects of value will disappear when set down.
    21. Magellan's Allegory: If you stop and ask someone for directions, and they tell you "You can't miss it"...then be assured that you will. (for me finding izy's house... again!)
    22. Things get worse under pressure.
    23. No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper. (for pat and 5 hours of shopping)
    24. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. (for anyone who loves ice cream)
    25. Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
    26. Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet. (for anyone who's lost a contact lens down the sink)
    27. The distance to your departure gate is directly proportional to the weight of your carry on luggage and inversely proportional to the time remaining before your flight. (for eddie)
    28. Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone. (for my bowling)
    29. The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress. (for my bowling too)
    30. Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten. (for this blog)
    So what spurred the bout of Muphy-ism? I found a new law, through my own personal experience just moments ago.

    Jeannie's take on Murphy's Law

    31. If there is a power cut in your house, it is inevitable that it will happen just as you are shampooing you hair.

    Finally, it is only fitting that we hear from the most lovable and probably famous practitioner of Murphy's Law:









    'It will rain soon, you see if it doesn't,'

    ~Eeyore~


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