RandomThots: Am I a Neighsayer of Cars? Hur hur hur I did not just make that pun...

As I drove to work today, I passed by what looked suspiciously like horse droppings on the road. This is unusual as I live in Kuala Lumpur.

There are no horses in Kuala Lumpur (save perhaps in the zoo, in horse riding centres and at the sultan's palace).

Anyway, I then started fantasizing, as I was stuck in my little metal box, about a time when equine travel was again possible. I mean, the more I thought about it, the more I could frame:

Arguments for Horsey Travel

1) Horses are environmentally-friendlier! They do not give out noxious carbon fumes, only noxious methane gases. Here I shall attempt to get sciencey, so pardon me or skip to next point if bored.

Of course someone else did the math and I just plagiarised it... but credit given where credit's due:http://ezinearticles.com/?Cows-Vs-Cars---The-Methane-Versus-Carbon-Dioxide-Battle&id=2877531

From another page, I found out that a dairy cow produces twice as much as waste as a pony and about 1/6th more than a medium horse. Taking that into account, here's how a horse squares up against your car.

A car on average produces 4100 pounds of CO2 a year

A cow on average produces 220 pounds of methane a year so a horse is at around 183 pounds

However, as a greenhouse gas, methane is 20 times as harmful as CO2! Therefore, in terms of greenhouse harm, a car = 4100 while a cow=4400 and a horse = 3660

Ha! I am still at a win for the horse! But you might want to rethink your consumption of steak for the planet's sake. (also seeing as how there are vastly more cows in the world than there are cars)

2) Fuel economy. Again, more information appropriated from this site:http://fatknowledge.blogspot.com/2005/05/horses-vs-cars.html

Math math math and what you get is that a pony can travel approximately 1.25 miles/pound of feedwhereas a car working on switchgrass fuel (sorry that dude's post was based on one where he discussed this new biofuel made from a grass so that's what he bases his calculations on) will travel 0.83 miles/pound of switchgrass.

3) It's a pony! WHICH LITTLE GIRL DOESN'T WANT A PONY!?!?

4) Horses can be your friends. Or at least that's what i learned from My Little Pony.

5) Horses produce their own substitutes. Never have to pay for a car again... EVER! You will have to have about a year of just feeding and no travel benefits though, i suppose.

6) Used horseshoes can become a fun game of horseshoe toss

7) Horses that turn out exceptionally fast can be invested into horse racing - i hear tell it is lucrative. Then they can be studs when they are older. Can your car get you money for producing fast little heirs?

8) Old horses can become satay or glue. (i did NOT say that *gasp*)

9) Horses can jump fences

10) Horses can keep the grass on your lawn short

11) Horses can snort at your enemies

12) They are just cool and you can give them names like Binky

Horse wins!

However, it would be unfair if i didn't point out that

A horse cannot carry a family of four
Plus luggage
A horse can't travel for much more than 40 km a day (that's just about enough to make it to Klang from KL, for those of us numerically disadvantaged folks)
Horses need to eat a lot. All day.
Horses poo. And you need to clean that up.
Horses are moody. Will your boss let you skip work cos your house was throwing a tantrum?
Horses smell horsey. As will your clothes. And your hair. And y0u.

Ah well, perhaps someday my dream will see fruition. We will hark back to the days when men were white knights on big horses and women were swooning over their machodom. But we will be doing it while sipping espressos and talking on our iPhones of course.

Because this has already been full of horses, let me take the opportunity to throw in a fat pony.