People are peculiar creatures in that things only seem important when it is further from your reach. The urgency of something is directly proportional to the impossibility of achieving it. On the last day of my holiday, a dozen things flash through my mind. People i should have met, things i should have done, food i should have eaten. But i suppose nothing is worth regretting. It's kind of like when you're cramming for an exam, and there are 101 things you'd rather be doing, but when you have all the time in the world after, you choose to procrastinate. (or you in this case could just be me).
Aside from that, I am struck by the fact that a world that i knew, the IH of 2005, is gone. As izy once said*, it's kind of like going back to your home, except it's lost that sense of familiarity, and is full of strangers. What a scary thought. (*may have edited izy's exact words to make it sound profound)
I feel some sort of remorse, leaving KL again. Homesickness hits you when you least expect it, even after being overseas a few times before, but 3 months of being at home will do that i suppose. i imagine that i wouldn't feel such a strong attachment if i didn't know i was leaving the next day tho. As the Counting Crows (relatively) recently sang and Joni Mitchell penned all those years ago
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.So it got me thinking that... there's a lot to miss cos i think there's a lot that will be gone. i'll miss the little things, like saying Good Morning to Omar in the dining hall, like being a fresher (year long title), like having a pizza slice room, like waving to Kee Win in the New Building, like being able to visit Tas or Harvard whenever, like seeing familiar faces all over iH, like teasing Kai at the foos table, like Wooby chillin' like a condor with a 10 foot wingspan. *sigh* good times.
I'm very scared of changes. I like familiarity. I like comfort. It's silly to try to hold on to nothing though. Even holding on is a change.
So, here's a blog with a toast. To embracing new things and cherishing existing ones. To the tears that wash away the painful clutches of memory, letting us renew, reinvent and rejuvenate ourselves.
Like Omar (and probably Eddie) would want me to write. Tupac Shakur said:
That's just the way it is. Things'll never be the same. That's just the way it is. aww yeah.
i think Kee Win, mushy songs on my itunes and my wonderful family are to blame for this bout of sentimentality. and crying.