Thinking with the WRONG head can get you killed!

There are some times when my keyboard falls silent (not least because I spilled iced tea on it. But Lo! It has not electrocuted me yet!)
But there are some times when gems like this appear in the newspaper, and they are either too hilarious, or in this case too disgusting, tragic AND hilarious, not to share with the world.

Old Man's Bottle Mishap Leads to his Death

A 77-year old man died when he used a BOTTLE to masturbate.
Fact check? YES 77-year old. YES he died. YES a Bottle. To masturbate.

Said old man got his member stuck in the bottle and only called for help after using soapy water and, supposedly, other lubricants to try to dislodge it.
Surgeons cut the bottle below the neck to try to ease his pain, but by that time the skin around his tool had become inflamed, and the poor man could not tinkle.
Other medical complications resulted and he finally died of heart failure.

I'm not really sure if i should laugh because it's disrespectful. But i imagine to be trying that at 77, he's got to be one of those people you'd laugh at if he was 20, or someone really really lonely.

My my, Colin Farrell, what a compromising pose you have found yourself in. With a bottle no less. *snigger*

Let that be a lesson to us all, sexual experimentation past the age of 70 should be with something safe, like another human being. Or melons (but watch for scalding when you microwave them). Or pie, i guess.

Oh right, and can i also highlight that he was SINGAPOREAN? What did NS do to all their men?