Question 1: Do we outgrow our friends?
Conflicted between going with my friends of more than half a decade (wow, sounds longer when you put it that way) who have been there for me (sort of) all this while or my current set of friends, whom i have become way too attached to from a year's living together. Okay, the issue is, who to celebrate New Year's Eve with? But erm, detracting from that, New Year's Eve doesn't seem like such a big deal to me anymore. I'm more concerned about the fact that, when even just a few months ago i would have laughed off the notion that i would ever get over my high school friends because in my mind, there would always be something to talk about and we would always be together. haha.. how naive. i have this very horrible feeling that i may be outgrowing them, or maybe they're just not so relevant in my life now. Does that mean i have the right to choose newer friends over them? What about loyalty? I don't know, i don't think they'll ever be out of my life, but i feel guilty that they're not as big a part as i thought they'd always be.
Maybe it's a temporary thing.inevitably, one has to askthis bunch of weirdos?
or this bunch?
somehow there's a very guilty feeling of trading seven years for one, but the experiences we've shared in college have really been immense. So, my makeshift answer is that people come in and out of your life. It's just something that happens and although you try and hold on to stuff as long as you can, i guess there's a point when it slides. I believe in friendships that last forever. I believe i will still see many of these people well into my old age, (thank you technology) but even then our relationships will change, so we can't expect the same schoolyard gossip and shopping mall outings. People change, lives change, and it's not always for the worse.
Question 2: Is there only one person for everyone and will we just know?
Haha.. million dollar question. I had this talk with my cousin Ben the first night i'd seen him after about 4 years. We don't believe it. Well, we decided that we have absolutely no faith in long distance relationships, at least not if it's a fairly new relationship and there's an indefinite/really long period of absence. Why? Well, it relates to the first question, honest! I think that a relationship would require someone who is there for you, involved in your life yada yada yada... Well, it's kind of impossible if you're not there. Yes, i understand that there's the telephone, and sms and msn and email and skype and writing notes via aeroplane and sending messages on tv, but the point is that, there's just some added thing about physical presence that helps glue it together. This might seem really shallow and maybe at some point in my life, there'll be this fantastic love of my life who can prove otherwise, but right now, i'm still quite firmly rooted in this belief. i mean, honestly, isn't half the thrill the chills you get from a touch, the security from a warm hug, even minus 'physicality' isn't it about being able to do things together? Ms. Rhea taught us in Sociology before that a relationship shouldn't be 2 people to make 1 whole person, but it should be 2 whole people, who are enriched by each other. And that it's not about 2 paths converging into one, but really 2 separate paths that are going the same way. Well, you can't really be going the same way if you're not exactly there eh?
So, what Ben and i concluded is that, there's the possibility of you striking up
a relationship with any number of people, so long as they fit, well, a basic criteria. Like, obviously you can't hate the guts out of said person. But, i guess where things go from there is really up to you. And even when you're with someone, there could be someone there who seems just right for you. Jeepers, so much for my faith in fidelity. Kind of a grim way to imagine a love for all seasons eh? Would be nice if i really did have a knight in shining armour though.Question 3: Multiple spouses?
So this really just carries on from my last question. If i believe that there is no ONE person for someone, then what about polygamy? I wonder whether people in the world will ever find it to be an acceptable thing. If, according to my obviously scientifically-backed notion, it is possible that there's more than one person suitable for us, then why can't we all just get along? Wouldn't that be a notion? Communal households. Hey, in Nepal, there are women with multiple husbands (but that's really more because then there's enough people working to earn enough money to survive) and goodness knows there are loads of tycoons with mistresses and second wives and what not. But wouldn't that be a notion?
I was just thinking, times have changed. Years ago there was this mindframe that you'd stick to your job for years, even for generations! Like, the novelty there is, or used to be anyway, from your children inheriting the family business. The whole idea of this has been in the family for generations, made the same way throughout the years, handed down from year to year, made the same way our ancestors used to... well, i think you get the picture. I was just thinking i doubt i'd hold a job for more than 3 years. in fact, i think i'd like to flit from job to job. life so much less monotonous. Okay, the fact that all this keeps pointing to me not being
very faithful to friends or partners, really makes me think this whole relationship thing is, erm.. unfamiliar (to say the least) territory for me to tread. I don't know. This is, after all, where i ramble, so there you go, confessions of a confused (hormone-driven) mind.I may end up polygamous and friendless. Awesome!
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