The ALTERNATIVE Murphy's Law

So, it turns out that Mr. Murphy had more to say than just general facts of life. Here's his take on *hushed whisper* sex.... oh, and some bits on love too
Disclaimer: i never told you to read this if you're not over 18... and i don't think there's anything that explicit anyway

1. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
2. It is always the wrong time of month.
3. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
4. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
5. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
6. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
7. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
8. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
9. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
10. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. (???)
11. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
12. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
13. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
14. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
15. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
16. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
17. Love comes in spurts. (for kenny!)
18. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
19. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
20. "This won't hurt, I promise."

So, Mr. Murphy.. SaLuTe! (guys, that's NOT what i meant. oh gosh).
Quotes courtesy of Wikiquote