I feel like a little girlI am truly lost in this world they call adulthood.
Trying to conquer the whole wild world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to run
It's been just under 2 days that I've been in Malaysia and I am missing Melbourne terribly.
I don't understand it. Didn't I say I wouldn't mind living here? This is just a holiday, which is what makes it worse.
I should be enjoying the food, the shopping and the family, but I feel quite swamped and disillusioned by the whole culture in Malaysia.
I drive to get everywhere.
The sky is permanently hazy.
Everyone walks around in a zombie-like daze, shopping for god-knows-what in every shop that looks the same same same as you walk by.
When did Malaysia lose its character? Where is all the flavour, and life, and beauty that I held in my memory?
When did everything turn into a series of air-conditioned malls connected by an endless stream of rude drivers and traffic jams?
I fear that I really over-glorified Malaysia in my mind - that I thought I could live wherever and it wouldn't be a problem.
I miss my friends. I miss my freedom. I miss the little alleys and streets with their shops that exasperate me for closing at 5 pm, but remind me that there are better things to do with your time.
I miss the coffee culture, where people meet up just to have a chat.
I miss the bars, where you can walk around the city looking for a decent place to have a quiet beer - and not be afraid of walking home in the wee hours of the morning.
I miss the people around me - whom I can call to go to any of these cafes or bars, or just stay at home and talk or play games, or even cook to feed.
What happened to the Malaysia I knew? Why has Melbourne suddenly oozed all this charm?
As baffled as I ever could be... and really questioning my stubbornness in wanting to come home.
Where is home now?
*sigh*
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